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Saunder Choi
Saunder Choi Music
Message Out to Sea (Dear Mom…)
Message Out to Sea (Dear Mom…) is a love letter to mothers, whose unwavering love provides refuge to their LGBTQ+ children, and ultimately guide their journey towards acceptance and understanding.
SATB choir and piano
This deeply personal choral composition celebrates the unconditional love and refuge that mothers provide to their LGBTQ+ children. Inspired by a conversation between the composer and his mother, the piece explores themes of acceptance, understanding, and the transformative power of love, while incorporating a reimagined hymn tune to emphasize the enduring sense of sanctuary and all-encompassing care. This work reflects the profound bond between parent and child, highlighting the beauty of love that transcends understanding.
Composer’s Notes
When I was asked to write a new piece for the Sanctuary Choir of the First Presbyterian Church of Davenport, the community’s commitment to openness, inclusivity, and progressive values, particularly in supporting the LGBTQ+ community and providing assistance to refugees were emphasized. Inspired by these principles, I endeavored to craft a composition that mirrors the spirit of this compassionate congregation – one that celebrates and examines love and acceptance in a nuanced way. We agreed on a piece for a Mother’s Day Service.
I collaborated with my good friend and poet Brian Sonia-Wallace, and asked him to write a heartfelt letter to loving mothers who remained a refuge for their LGBTQ+ children. The line “Beyond understanding, there lives laughter” was inspired by a conversation I had with my mom a few years after I came out. I remember her telling me that she didn’t fully comprehend my journey of self-discovery within the LGBTQ+ community, but she nevertheless remained a safe, loving space that allowed me to discover, navigate, and learn how to thrive as a gay immigrant.
Towards the conclusion of the composition, I made a deliberate choice to quote one of my favorite hymn tunes, the Hyfrydol. In the Unitarian Universalist tradition, of which I am part of, this tune is set to the text “Blue Boat Home” – which similarly uses a lot of water/harbor imagery. Brian and I rewrote the text to “Love Divine, All Loves Excelling” to connect more deeply with the themes of refuge and all-encompassing love.
In weaving together these elements, the composition strives to celebrate the ethos communities dedicated to embracing diversity, fostering refuge, and embodying the transformative power of love.
-Saunder Choi
Text
Dear mom, you were always my refuge
When I didn’t know which way to turn
Now my ship has left those placid waters
There’s still so much to do, to be, to learn —
Dear mom, you welcome me on each return.
Beyond understanding there lives laughter
A torch that does not flicker as it burns
There’s still so much I lack the words to tell you,
A hopeful silence, staring at the sea
As memories of angry voices churn
Against the queer joy that’s knocking at my door
You saw my worth before it could be earned
Dear mom, you made my heart your first concern
For every wave, you became my safe shore
Dear mom, you taught me what it means to yearn
And how an ocean lives in me.
– Brian Sonia-Wallace
—-
Love divine, all loves excelling,
Refuge in a time of storm
Fix our hearts in humble dwelling;
In love’s harbor, keep us warm.
Spirit, boundless with compassion,
Pure and endless love compart;
All across your vast creation;
Open every shielded heart.
-Brian Sonia-Wallace and Saunder Choi
$3.00 per licensed PDF
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